you are a river

you're more creative than you think

A reminder

Your dreams are designed to be chased. Not held, clammy and stagnant in your palm, forever.

The weight of your dreams will burn a hole in the pocket of everything you ever wear if you ignore them, if you don’t at least write them down, see each one as soft and holy and worthy of your time, your attention, your contemplative moments before bed, your conversations with friends.

A dream doesn’t need to make sense to be worthy.

An idea doesn’t need to be fully fledged before you take the first step. In fact, It’s almost better if it’s not.

The best ideas are like surprise seeds — will they contain a flower, a fruit, a forest, a whole universe? A new and unexpected path for your life to roll along?

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It’s June.

June in Tokyo is sweet peaches and vanilla cream. Coffee on the balcony. Sleeping with the window open. The sound of soft rain. The sound of hard rain. A new umbrella with a bamboo handle, appropriate for the sun. I imagine myself as a bug carrying a fresh, plump leaf. Kawaii. Sun safe. Green plums ordered directly from the farm to turn into syrup, cordial and sweet wine. June in Tokyo is Hydrangea season. It’s keep the windows and balcony door open season. It’s burning beeswax candles and incense on dark and stormy afternoons season. It’s retreat season. It’s the season of bright green, of bird song and evening strolls. For me, it’s a season I adore (and find to be somewhat of a muse). I just read that Venus is rolling into Taurus too.

There’s a cafe I love, a short walk from home.

This cafe is perfect to me. It seats about six people on the counter, and another eight on small red tables by large windows, half covered by linen curtains. The menu is minimal, written on chalkboard, updated seasonally. They play vinyl records, and display small flower arrangements in glass jars and ceramics from France. Everyone speaks in a low voice. The water is served in a very specific glass goblet. There is a smoky scented hand scrub in the bathroom. The cafe is not fancy, or trendy. It is the obvious manifestation of someone’s love, passion and fantasy. I could never have thought of such a place, but it draws me in, like a lustful bee to a syrupy flower and I have become a weekly customer, a huge fan.

In a recent post on Instagram, in which the owner shared their opening hours for the month ahead (by taking a photo of a calendar, hand drawn on paper in red pen) they also included a story about their relationship with the incoming rainy season.

I’m translating from Japanese, but it was something along the lines of:

I always hated the rainy season, until a older customer said: “the rain looks so good in this store” and since then, the whole season took on a new feeling, a romantic edge. The memory of that comment keeps me smiling during the wettest days.

It hit me.

Sometimes, all we need for our creativity is a change in perspective.

Sometimes, all we need is to remember that our words, the smallest comment we make can be an incredible gift someone else.

And if one person can build a cafe with a cult following in a tiny space, closed for two whole days each week:

You can breathe life into your wildest ideas too,

Whatever that looks like for you.

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A reminder

Your creativity is not a seperate thing. It emanates from within.

Your creativity is sweat. Your creativity is dew. Your creativity is a flower that blooms in June. Your creativity is your laughter, the sound of your voice. Your creativity releases like a sweetened mist when you express how you actually feel, say what is bubbling up beneath your throat, even when you are scared, even when you feel it will break your whole world apart.

I know you’re afraid.

But I know you can do it.

I know you think you can’t.

You can.

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Your creativity is a natural body of water. It rises like the tide and draws all the way back into the belly of the earth. It happens cyclically, usually, but sometimes with no rhyme or reason at all.

You do not blame the ocean for changing with the moon. You do not blame the ocean for an unruly swell, for too much sea foam. You do not blame the river for trickling in the winter, only to rush forth with fresh snow melt when spring comes.

Your creativity is a natural body of water, she is not designed to be tamed, but revered, worshiped and prayed along the banks of.

What is the state of your creative body of water? What is the state of the river within? What needs to be introduced? What needs to be removed? What needs attention, an offering of flowers, a kiss?

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I am twenty four years old and sitting in my first yoga teacher training. I am shy, I am inflexible and incredibly out of my depth.

We are sitting on the floor, in the yoga studio with it’s bright yellow walls, while a confident, clear voiced business coach with great posture and greater presence teaches a lecture on how to make money as a yoga teacher (by first telling us it is all but impossible to do so).

She gives us the task of brainstorming what is unique and different about who we are (everything, obviously). What can we offer beyond just yoga. Are we also accounting wizards? Were we ever approached by a cult? Do you surf, run, dance? How can you seperate yourself from the crowd? What is your story? What are your passions and skills?

At it’s core, I like this exercise a lot, which is why I remember it well. The richest paths (in my opinion) are less about striving to be the Best Yoga Teacher Ever or the Most Florist-y Florist in the Land, it is about infusing your essence, your quirks, your weirdness into the thing, as much as you can.

Back then, I was stuck on how to answer the question. All I could come up with was a small shrug and a quiet voice: I guess I really love Japan?

It was not the first, and certainly not the last time I was met with looks of pity and oh sweetie, not quite like that.

Ten years later, I moved into my Tokyo apartment and established a business in a foreign country, granted a visa, mostly, because of my commitment to teaching yoga and however possible, always indulging my love of Japan. For no reason other than joy itself.

It’s funny, how things work out.

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A reminder

Your creativity requires tending and recognition, not force.

Your creativity is directly linked to your desire for romance, whimsy and beauty.

Your desire for beauty is not something to be overcome, not some challenge or flaw.

Your desire for fresh flowers and candlelight, to wear clothes made of linen and silk, to move slowly, to write by hand, to shower with milky soap and coat your body in fragrant oil is a call to attention, not some exorbitant luxury you’re too busy for.

What else are we here for?

We may not be able to have it all at once, but every tiny step we take in the direction of what lights up and inspires us, what makes the rough experience of life go down sweeter, is equivalent to a giant leap. Especially when that step moves in the opposite direction to what is seen as productive, worthy or smart by the rest of the world.

Trust me. Every tiny action is a petal. The reward is a flower in full bloom.

Maybe you can’t have a fresh bouquet for every room of the house each week, but perhaps you can offer yourself a small stem or two on every full moon.

Maybe you can’t have a whole hour every morning to read and write, but perhaps you can find five minutes for a single page of notes written by hand.

Maybe you can’t dress head to toe in slow made, natural fibres, but you can treat yourself to a single piece and care for it well.

Maybe you can’t open your tiny french cafe in the backstreets of a Tokyo residential neighbourhood, just yet.

But you can keep collecting the pieces that allow you to do so, if and when the opportunity presents itself.

Maybe you can’t take every dream seriously, but you can always start with a single step.

Your creativity is a river.

And water needs to move.

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Thanks so much for reading!

Explore The Daily Rest Studio class connected to this piece here.

Join us for the workshop series, A Poetic Life (it’s going to be so rich and cosy I can’t WAIT).

Stay informed about all upcoming Japan Retreats & follow tdr tokyo on instagram.

If you’re interested in my (uneducated) rant on A.I work, and creativity, tune in here.