It happened again.
Back in March, it was the sound of birds chirping.
I paused the lecture I was listening to, trying to discern if the sound was coming from my environment, or the one pulsing through my screen.
With the video paused, the sound continued.
I felt close to tears.
It was still cold. Bitingly, desperately cold. It was about to get colder too, I didn’t know it yet, but a day of heavy snow would arrive the following week.
Joy flooded through me. The voice of the birds signalled the end of the first real winter I’d ever experienced as an Australian girl from the coast. One who knew what it was like to wear three pairs of socks to bed due to a complete and utter lack of insulation in old Australian homes — but one who had not yet experienced the confronting depths of a real winter.
Trees without leaves. The warmth of the sun completely unable to break through the bite of the wind. The absence of flowers. No birdsong.
I never thought much about birds until I could no longer hear them.
There is not a second that passes without the sound or the sight of a bird, where I’m from.
Last week, it was the light that stopped me.
Outside, the temperature climbed to 40 degrees celsius. The following days reached 39, then 38. Summer still hung thick in the air like a blanket at night.
But the light had shifted.
A turning point. A spiral turning, deep beneath the earth.
This light took up residence in a place it hadn’t been prominent for months. The colour of the light had also changed, somehow. Like it had downshifted a notch from orange towards white. I noticed it the next day too, pausing in the kitchen, just watching this square of light, knowing it was the beginning of something, feeling all at once a great relief, a kind of mourning and deeply underneath it all, a tiny hint of dread.
The seasons feel long, I think, but the years are far too short.
The next morning without thinking, I reach for hojicha tea, the taste of autumn. Something I haven’t craved in months. While the air con still whirred in the living room, I carried the taste of the seasons shifting with me, over to my sheepskin on the tatami floor.
The following day in the supermarket, I watched myself place a small chunk of bright orange pumpkin in my basket alongside a handful of maitake mushrooms and an overflowing punnet of figs. I paused again. The sweat from the heat outside poured in rivers down my back, making me shiver beneath the intensely cold air of the supermarket, and yet, something within me still knew.
It’s like when animals feel an earthquake coming moments before we do. The body senses the shift in the subtle, before it reaches the physical plane.
What a delight it is, to observe tiny flickers of our own wisdom, our own ancient knowing wildness, pulsing through our veins.
𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆉 𓆝 𓆡⋆.˚ 𓇼𓇢𓆸
A note before we get into favourites from August. For the month of September, yearly subscriptions are 20% off. This brings the price down less than $6 AUD / $4 USD p/m. Thank you so much for supporting my work!
Books
My intention for August was to work and stress as little as possible and to be honest we didn’t *quite* hit that goal but I did spend multiple afternoons in bed or on the tatami floors reading books which is basically my idea of complete and utter perfection.
In a single day, I read if you don’t like this, I will die an influencer memoir by Lee Tilghman. It’s a compelling story and easy to read. I couldn’t put it down, which says a lot. Whether I actually liked it or not is a different story. Still not sure how I feel about this one! Would be interested in your thoughts if you’ve read it.
My fiction of the month was The Last of the Moon Girls by Barbara Davis. It’s certainly not a book that changed my life, but it’s a sweet, easy read fiction book with a hint of murder mystery and suspense (without getting too dark, something I can no longer deal with). The main drawcard for me is it follows a family of female healers living on what was a thriving farm and apothecary. Definitely one for a long plane ride or a lazy weekend.
Ghosts of the Tsunami by Richard Lloyd Parry was without doubt the best book I read in August. As many of you might know, I was in Tokyo during the 2011 Great Tohoku Earthquake, so it’s a subject I feel very close to. That being said, I think anyone would enjoy the beautiful writing and tragic storytelling in this real-life account, centred around a small school by a large river, in which the majority of students died in the tsunami, when they really should have lived. Heartbreaking, but moving storytelling, which also leans into the supernatural aspect of the disaster, and the Tohoku area in general, which I found fascinating.
Music
In mid-August I saw Ichiko Aoba for the second time this year. I wrote about the first show here. I now believe that Aoba is a mystic and a healer, as well as a true artist and one of my greatest inspirations. The first time I saw her perform I cried the second she hit her first note. I felt like the entire performance was some kind of transmission that re-wired my brain (I know this sounds dramatic but if people can say this about plant medicine, I can say it about live music) and gave me permission to see myself as an artist first and foremost in my work, my business and my life. After that show I immediately let go of a lot of unhelpful judgements I was holding about myself and how I work.
This time, I was crying before the show even started on my boyfriends shoulder after a very challenging week (side note - highly highlyyyy recommend finding yourself a partner who is not afraid of tears). I cried for half the performance and left feeling delicate, but reborn. It’s hard to translate a live performance in a recording, but this does a beautiful job at trying.
Films
I re-watched Midnight in Paris for maybe the third or forth time (it is one of my go-to plane / feel good films). And while, admittedly, I do not like to support the work of Woody Allen, I can still watch this film because thankfully, his face is not in it.
If you’re a writer, a lover of nostalgia, or someone who can’t help but romanticise Paris, like me (that is, someone who has spent less than two weeks there in total) then I cannot recommend it enough. It is gorgeous, funny and beautiful to look at. I also watched I, Origins for the first time and wondered why I’d never heard of it before. As someone who has stared into the eyes of friends newborn children and thought I know you, this touched me deeply, and stayed with me for days.
Practice
Okay, two things from August. One is, I started at a local Co-Working Space here in Tokyo and honestly — it is changing my life. I deliberated over it for almost two months in total and I’m SO GRATEFUL I went for it. Working 100% from home is a privilege and very convenient, but I do think it comes at a great cost. The ability to properly seperate work / home has had an immediate and obvious affect on my productivity, mental health and overall feeling of wellbeing. A reminder to those who work from home - for the love of god, leave the house!
I’ve also been enjoying choosing a practice for the next morning the night before from here (I never used to do my own recorded classes out of pure and abject horror but I do end up craving them and recently I’ve wanted to be guided in practice rather than having to think about what to do next and so… who knew, I’m loving it)!! I’m also very much back into my vinyasa practice at the moment, so expect more classic asana practices coming to the studio soon.
This style of practice fits in with my most days approach from last week’s letter - I’m enjoying energising morning movement as soon as I wake up at the moment, but at some point that will change. The comments on this piece are so inspiring! I owe such a huge and heartfelt thank you to anyone who writes a comment here, on instagram or in the studio. Working alone in front of the computer all day is absolutely, without a doubt, horrific for ones mental health, so every single comment is appreciated more than you could possibly know. Thank you!
Okay!
Let me know what you read, watched, listened to or loved in August, if you like.
Reading your essay in the subway going to my new job (first time serving breakfast today and so happy !) and I know my day will begin with poetry and sweetness, thank you Emmie 🩷🙏. I love the way you notice every subtile change in seasons, an art of paying attention to the world around us. We could write an entire book of poems about the nuances of light : such a beautiful topic !
I loved reading this Emmie. beautifully written 🧡 and So fitting for me as I’ve teleported from spring to autumn and am currently on a train journey through the countryside which is blanketed in fog and the early season colouring of the leaves.