the art of curating your life

cultivating sweetness this july

Like most things in life, cultivating sweetness is mostly a shift in perception, a wiping of the lens, the cleaning of a clouded mirror. It involves having the courage to see things clearly. To take small, daily actions in order to change our current reality.

To cultivate sweetness is to stop falling prey to the idea or subconscious belief that an abundance of time, money or success will magically appear in our ever busy lives out of nowhere. And even if it does (it might!) that alone will be the reason for us finally being able to enjoy our everyday, and do the things we love.

This is a trap I refuse to fall into. I think we all know deep down, it’s simply not true.

The number in your bank account or ring on your finger is not a magic happiness switch. True success is to deeply enjoy and live the moment we are in now, while we move in the direction of any goals or dreams we are tending to.

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A well-lived life is not a perfect one. Striving for, and expecting perfection is like hoping every day for a sky without a single cloud. As much as we love the warmth of sunshine, there are no flowers, no trees, no ripe fruits or baby animals come spring without the rain, and plenty of it, too.

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cultivating sweetness like it’s my full time job (because it kinda is!)

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Cultivating Sweetness.

Make the mundane and the everyday (hopefully) romantic:

I expand upon this here:

romanticise it all

I actually re-read this piece myself from time to time when I get overwhelmed with small, silly things and forget just how easy it is to sweeten up my everyday, even with limited time, or too many stressors on my favourite ceramic plate. My favourite point is this:

Stop saving things for a special occasion. Is there a more special occasion than being alive? Do you even understand how crazy it is to be here? How happy we all are to have you? Getting through the day is a special occasion. Wear your favourite clothes as often as you like. Spritz rose water over your entire body. Use the ceramics you spent way too much money on. Write with the messy, expensive pen. Wear perfume oil to bed (especially when sleeping alone).

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Indulge in small luxuries:

Take a moment to consider. What is luxury, for you? What is your unfiltered version of luxury? Journal it out. Notice where your mind chimes in and tries to edit, demand it as too much or not enough. Really go for it. Let your mind run wild and your pen run free. Once you’ve spilled out a few pages, take a moment to distill your vision of luxury into a few themes.

It might be travel. It might be freedom. It might be quiet, rest, time to read. It might be a closet of high end fashion. A cupboard of wild pureh tea. An overflowing vegetable garden. A Chanel handbag. It might be all of these things. Look at how your mind brings up small quips of guilt, of that’s not possible as the pen moves across the page. Be aware of how your body might experience a wave of shame. Remember, this is hanging around in the subconscious all the time. To bring it to attention is to begin the process of healing it. It’s important to let it be seen.

From your distilled list, what small luxury can you gift yourself, from today?

If you are aching for quiet time but not prioritising five minutes for yourself, it is almost as if you don’t value it at all. If you ache for a Chanel handbag, but instead buy far too many cheaper bags you don’t even use… see the pattern here?

And on that note…

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Dare to take the first step:

When we take one tiny step toward our dreams, or how we desire to live, before we have any confirmation that step will actually pay off, not only do we begin to magnetise more of what is meant for us toward us, we also develop confidence and trust in ourselves.

There is so much beauty in learning how to trust our intuition, those little pulls in some unexpected direction by taking action on them. Not waiting for the perfect moment. Not waiting for the stars to align.

Of course, this is not by running ourselves ragged on some kind of sugar high. Usually, to be able to do this successfully, we need to learn how to slow down, and pause first. However, if you find yourself forever hovering, treading water, telling yourself I’ll take that trip, I’ll publish my substack, I’ll read more when… Maybe it’s time to experiment with acting in the moment. Releasing all and any attachment to the result (as best as you can).

Waiting until we have reached a certain milestone in order to take the next step forever keeps our future just out of reach. Dare to make the first move, be patient and watch how everything shifts.

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Believe in somebody else:

I can speak from experience that often all we need in order to be bold, do the things we’re afraid of and make changes in our lives for the good, is one other person to believe in us.

I know the feeling of being surrounded by people who have decided life is a certain way, that moving to far flung locations or deciding not to follow the set path is certifiably insane, and they are of course entitled to their opinion, but when it’s the only opinion I’m surrounded with, I do find it harder to trust in myself. I also find myself bored beyond belief, but that’s just me.

I am forever grateful for the many people in my life who often believe in me more than I believe in myself. There is nothing more powerful for being that person, for someone else.

Surround yourself with people who are also committed to some version of cultivating sweetness, living creatively, choosing a different path, getting enough rest, working on their passions, building something they feel proud of. This will make a huge difference in being able to do it for yourself.

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A peek into The Daily Rest Studio:

If you’re interested in this topic, I felt inspired to share this season’s welcome class from The Daily Rest Studio with you. Let me know if you watch it!

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A Poem

Written in the lobby of an century old hotel, of course. More to come from my short, but deeply impactful trip to Japan’s ancient capital, soon.

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I could expand on this forever, but I’ll leave it here, for now.

While you’re here, I have to once again mention my online membership and community (even though I’m aware most of you are already members! Thank you! I adore you!)

If you found this post spoke to something within you, We’d love to have you join us in The Daily Rest Studio for a single month, or a whole season to infuse yourself in a digital cocoon where movement, rest, growth and expansion are supported and encouraged from a place of romance and joy, not scarcity or force. This season, our focus on Cultivating Sweetness (and you can tune into our much loved previous season, The Beauty Portal while you’re there, too). Through movement, rest, meditation, community connection and workshops we spend more time in our most imperfectly romantic era, even when life is busy, even when shit needs to get done ;)