This summer, I spent an overwhelming amount of time with girls and women.
It was incredible.
I had the unique experience of spending many weeks living under the same roof as young children, as a single woman with none of her own.
There was one child in particular, who made a deep impression on me.
I’m sure if you’ve been reading these letters or following my personal account on IG you’ll know who.
Shizuku, or Shi chan is two point five years old and in possession of a personality that can, and will, swallow you whole.
The first thing to know about Shi chan is that she is THE girly girl.
Shi chan will scream bloody murder if she believes her outfit is not cute.
Shi chan is not afraid to accessorise. A strawberry necklace. A kitty chan wristband filled with beads that rattles with every step (and under no circumstances, can be removed, not even to sleep). Hair ties must be pink or fluffy or glittery or with some kind of trinket attached. Any unattended makeup, in any room, must be inspected and applied. Lotion (ku ree muu) must be rubbed into the body with vigour and enthusiasm after bathing, to everyone in the room.
Shi chan is overflowing with self love.
She is not afraid to tell you when she’s upset.
She is not afraid to tell you how cute you look.
She is not afraid of you not liking her if she says no.
She is not afraid of showering you with affection.
She is not afraid of asking for what she wants.
She is certainly not afraid of being herself.
The interesting thing is: no one taught Shizuku to love pink.
Her older sister rides BMX and will wander the streets collecting bugs. She saved ME from a cockroach in my Airbnb (while Shi chan shouted GO KI BU RI before taking the opportunity of chaos to eat everyone else’s ice cream). In all the years I’ve known their mother, I’ve never seen her wear anything resembling a dress, a skirt or the colour pink.
And yet - Shi chan noticed *immediately* when I came home one day with a glittery manicure. She quite literally took my hand, and screamed with delight. She continued to look at me, her face overtaken completely by two enormous eyes that silently pouted what about meeeeeeeee while pointing at my nails and then pointing at hers until eventually, she received a toddler friendly nail polish of her own.
I’m sure all the Mother’s reading this are like yep - that’s a two year old, groundbreaking realisation Emmie 🥱
Shi chan made such a deep impression on me, not only because she is adorable and I love her dearly: but because I saw a version of myself so clearly within her.
I’m not sure I ever had Shizuku’s level of confidence (or her lung capacity) but I sure as hell shared her obsession with making every single moment of my life as cute, as pink, and as girly as humanly possible.
Watching her embrace this so fully, and so unapologetically, made me painfully aware of how deeply I had rejected it within myself.
That’s right, I was ‘expanded’ by a two year old.
And then I realised:
This is what people mean when they say the most powerful thing you can be is completely yourself.
Shi chan simply being Shi chan fired off realisations and clarity within me as if I were in a deep meditation or a therapy room.
Shi chan simply being Shi chan showed me exactly where I was still staying small, still being the too nice girl, still playing down certain aspects of myself.
Isn’t it wild:
SO many of us spend our whole freaking existence trying to figure out how we can ~serve~ the world.
We have this knowing we want to help, to teach, to guide and to heal in some way.
We spend years chasing certifications and niches trying to find our ~thing~
We spend hours agonising over what to share in an email newsletter or instagram post, and then feel crushed when no one seems to care.
But what if:
What if the simple act of uncovering and being ourselves is it.
(I said simple, not easy).
What if we could understand that simply living as yourself is THE healing balm for you personally and also, the most generous gift to the world?
Every single time we make a choice that honours who we are, be it in how we dress, take rest, ask for what we want, show love without fear, and take tiny leaps toward our dreams: we empower others to do the same.
The opposite is also true:
Every single time we tell ourselves we’re too much, we don’t deserve to rest, we’re not doing enough, we’re expecting too much, we shouldn’t wear that, say this, desire for more: we’re kinda, sorta telling other women the same thing too.
And if that reality triggers you (like it did me) it’s probably because you know, deep down, it’s true.
〰️
Spending so much time with Shi chan this year was a gift. Witnessing her in that pure, unapologetic state of being herself gave me permission to take up more space, to embrace my love of the feminine and cute and to be even less afraid of asking for what I want.
Every time I witnessed her saying no, demanding to wear the dress instead of the shorts because it was important that she look like a princess, accessorise her pyjamas before going to bed and making sure her socks matched her fluffy pink jacket before she left the house, I loved to watch her be in that space of not caring about being annoying for a moment or two. Even, and especially, when I was the one who was annoyed.
I watched how when she attended to and expressed what she actually wanted, she soon after radiated a very pure type of joy that lit up the entire room.
It made me realise how when we’re unable to ‘put someone out’ for a moment due to an ability to say no, take our time, ask for what we actually want: we’re doing them a disservice as well — we’re robbing them of that full and alive version of ourselves.
It should go without saying: I’m not advocating for adult tantrums. I’m not advocating for being demanding for the sake of it. I’m not saying we will and should always get what we want. But we should be able to ask for it and own it, at least.
How many of practically short circuit when we’re so much as offered a drink at someone’s else’s house? And I don’t mean in a sleazy way, I literally mean in a friend saying can I get you something to drink and you saying no thanks I’m good even though you’re about ten minutes in an air conditioned room away from actual dehydration? And if you’re not quite *that* bad, you always say oh just water thanks or whatever else you’re guessing is the easiest for them even though they have a sick tea collection and just flicked the kettle on.
Yeah.
A lot of us still have some work to do.
Maybe your version of self love, self expression and self acceptance is about having the courage to be LESS girly because it just doesn’t feel like you.
Maybe your version is learning how to say no, to sit in that empty space of putting people out for a moment or two.
Maybe your version is having the courage to open up, to show affection, to be vulnerable, even when you’re terrified of being hurt (again).
Maybe your version is to stop chasing, to stop looking for that golden certification or certainty over what is going to be your thing.
Maybe your version is finally realising all those things you tried to hide, change and conceal about yourself are the very keys you’ve been searching for along.
Maybe your version is believing in yourself enough to finally open all the doors.
The world really does want to see the REAL you.
We love that you more than you know.
💕 It’s Self Love month in The Daily Rest Studio 💕
Read all about Self Love month & get the December playlist, Moving & Melting.
Find the Live Workshop Schedule (we have a special workshop this morning Finishing the Year Soft free for members, $55 for non members).
The Recommended Reading: The Karma of Success
My 2023 Favourites, as a whole.
Have a beautiful week ahead 🌛
Emmie xo
I love this. It reminds me of something I read recently; that being true to yourself is magnetic, and being magnetic is inherently polarising. You draw those who resonate with you to you and those who don't far away. I'd take that a million times over. Also; I miss Shi Chan!!!
What a gorgeous read and reminder!! Probably felt even more timely given I'm working quite deeply on this and reconnecting with the younger version of myself too (which I saw in parts of the qualities you shared in Shi chan), and allowing myself to be unapologetic in expression. Thank you for sharing ❤️